The Olympics Are Over - Here's How We Know...

I suppose I should have gotten to this sooner.  If I had, though, the "rest of the story," would not have presented itself.  I would have been stuck writing purely about The Games of the XXX Olympiad.  That, as we all know, would have been exceedingly boring, right?  Yes, I jest.  For it was in these games that we saw history made or rewritten repeatedly.  The most obvious example was Baltimore's own, Michael Phelps.  After assuring the entire world this was his last Olympics, we watched him become the most decorated Olympian in history.  Yes, he chose a sport that allowed him to be in a position to do so, however let's not forget - he had to perform to win the medals.  The final tally, as we've all been told, is 22 total medals.  Of those, there are 18 Gold.  Let's not forget the games in 2008, either, when Phelps challenged Mark Spitz's record of 7 Gold medals in a single Olympiad...and came home with 8.  He twice became the only man to win a Gold medal in the same event at three separate Games.  The list goes on...yet we've (supposedly) seen him for the last time swimming competitively.  There are many that hope, myself included, that he might consider Rio in 2016, yet another part of me wants him to ride off into the sunset so he can retire on top.  I liked his attitude, too, when told there would be many that would hate to see this particular retirement - "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."  Perfect.

We also got to watch the "Fab Five," in action.  Five young women dressed in leotards, their hair pulled back, looking ready to take on the world.  They were only teenagers, though they carried themselves with grace, dignity and confidence while exemplifying 'sportsmanship' to their competitors. Honestly, did our collective hearts not break for Jordyn Weiber?  She qualified 4th overall for the Individual competition, yet could not compete because only two athletes were allowed form each country.  Silly rule - change it.  We want to see the 24 best athletes perform.  We watched McKayla Maroney absolutely NAIL her vault for the team.  It should have been a perfect score...yet, we watched as she went for her individual medal and, though she is the undisputed 'best in the world' on the vault, she landed on....well, she sat down.  We gasped.  Still, we watched Gabby Douglas win a Gold in the All-Around, while Aly Raisman won for the floor exercise.  We were diggin' it.

There were other stories, lesser-known and told, that grabbed our attention, too.  One in particular that was aired on the Nightly News focused on one of our female weightlifters.  This young woman has always been big.  She had been teased and people made fun of her.  She also lived on $400/month while training and, at times, had to live in her car.  Why would anyone do that?  Why would they sacrifice so much?  Because, as she pointed out, she can call herself, "An Olympian."  It's a small, select group...and she is one of the few.  I respect that.  She wanted to represent her country...our country...on the world's biggest stage.  Impressive.

The most impressive story of these Games, however (I don't even need to say it, do I?) was a South African athlete...with no lower legs.  Oscar Pistorius.  Tell me again how bad your day has been.  Tell me the problems you have in life.  Tell me, again, how difficult things are and how hard it is to get motivated.  To watch him run was amazing, yet to hear the stories of his youth even more so.  His mother's words echoing, always, in his mind - "Disabled doesn't have to mean disadvantaged."  Powerful?  Absolutely.  I really enjoyed her brand of motivation when she told his brother, "Put on your shoes.  Oscar, put on your legs.  That's the last I want to hear of it today."  The most amazing part of this man, though, is illustrated in the picture.  He has become a symbol of hope for many small children and, more than many adults using empty words, is teaching them that there are no limits to what they can do.  It was, in short, an amazing Olympiad and all of England should be proud.  The world thanks you.

Then, however (and the rest of the story), we get an illustration of how that perfect harmony created every two years is only an illusion in the 'real' world.  It was a story written today regarding discrimination and harassment.  28-year old Imane Boudlal, a naturalized US citizen from Morocco, has filed suit against the Walt Disney Company.  In the suit, she is charging harassment and religious discrimination based on her Muslim religion and ethnic origins in North Africa.  She began working as a hostess at Grand Californian Hotel & Spa Resort in 2008.  She claims, too, that she was harassed by fellow workers and that Disney refused to accommodate her request to wear a traditional Muslim headscarf, a hijab, at work.  Ultimately, this caused her to leave Disney in 2010.  No, I do not have the dates wrong.  She left in 2010 and she is NOW filing suit.  Why it took two years to file this suit is beyond me...though I can imagine it might have something to do with the ACLU and an ambulance-chasing lawyer catching the story.  Okay, this is where I feel my constant disclaimer must be placed: I have nothing against practicing Muslims or, for that matter, anyone of ANY specific religion, race, creed, or color.  I just think that's a long time...don't you?  So...Boudlal claims the harassment began, "as soon as I started working there.  It only got worse when I decided to wear a hijab.  My journey towards wearing it couldn't have been more American; it began at my naturalization ceremony. I realized that I had the freedom to be who I want and freely practice my religion."

Wait.....let's revisit that for a moment.  If I read that correctly, she did NOT always wear a hijab.  She decided to do so at her naturalization ceremony.  She had been working without the hijab, then decided at a later time it was appropriate.  Disney, for their part, sought a compromise.  They offered her (with 4 separate choices) headwear that would both compliment her uniform, as well as allow her to accomplish her goal of covering her head in observance of her religion.  In addition, if she absolutely HAD to wear the hijab (something that she apparently did NOT), they offered her other positions that would be in an area in the back of the restaurant.  My point being - they tried to accommodate Boudlal and her religion.  They specifically made head coverings for her that she rejected. Why, if wearing the hijab initially wasn't an issue, would she reject their attempts at compromise?  I think we know why...and is an issue that is bothering many of us.  To all that want to practice their religions here, we are fine with that.  For those that beg our tolerance, we hear you.  For those that want us to accommodate your wishes, I have a few questions.  Why did you come here when you could have stayed in your homeland and worn this whenever you wished?  Why is it we always have to, "Press 1 for English."?  This is America and we are proud of the fact that we are a 'melting pot' of so many different societies, however we are Americans.  Period.  I wonder, as I have often in the past, what kind of tolerance we would receive if we were to go to your former countries and brought legal action against someone being intolerant of our religious beliefs or customs.  Yes, that's rhetorical.  We all know the answer...which is, quite honestly, why you are here.  Disney is an American company.  They have rules for their employees and should not be forced to bend to threats or legal actions.  The rule applies to all AND they offered a compromise.  Seriously, though...was it a compromise you wanted...or an opportunity to sue Disney and, like the new American Dream, rake in unearned millions?  When our ancestors came to Ellis Island, they came with a few dollars in their pockets.  The only real thing they had was hope and all they asked was an opportunity.  They did not come demanding we would do something for them.  They, rather, wanted to make something and help build this great nation.  Word of advice - you might want to try that...and see if the tolerance increases.  My bet is it will.  I'll stand beside you and help build 'our' country again...........

Until next time...................

True Colors - More Than A Cyndi Lauper Tune...and The Olympics

I have purposely waited, yet again to weigh in on this issue.  As with other issues, I chose not to have a 'knee-jerk' reaction, and to see how people on both sides of the issue acted and responded.  I am amazed.  Amazed, quite honestly, at how we treat each other, especially those that will tell you they are only pushing to 'be accepted for who they are' and are 'all about getting along equally'.  I'm calling bullshit.  Excuse me, but that is how fed up I am with the way people are treating each other and the so-called issue of hate.  Yes, by now you know I am speaking of the Chik-Fil-A situation and the comments made by Founder Dan Cathy.  First, let me clear this up and go on record - I have friends that are gay, both men and women.  I respect them and treat them no differently than others.  I had a cousin that was gay.  He died, not of pneumonia, but of AIDS, I think.  So you know I am not setting this up to be either pro-anything or anti-anything, there is the preface.  Okay...let's set the record straight, AGAIN, for those of you who simply want to push your agenda and twist people's words and actions to benefit your cause.

Dan Cathy was being interviewed by a Baptist magazine when he uttered those now famous words:

Some have opposed the company's support of the traditional family. "Well, guilty as charged," said Cathy when asked about the company's position.

"We are very much supportive of the family -- the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.

"We operate as a family business ... our restaurants are typically led by families; some are single. We want to do anything we possibly can to strengthen families. We are very much committed to that," Cathy emphasized.

"We intend to stay the course," he said. "We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles."


So there it is.  I have read those statements, read them again, and read them again.  I have looked everywhere, however cannot seem to find the part where they say they HATE anyone.  The man was speaking of the values of his company and his personal  beliefs.  They are Pro-family.  Please help me understand - I have read the list of organizations to whom they have donated money (their right, I believe) and I am struggling.  They gave money to the Family Research Council who has been controversially labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center.  Okay, let's just suppose for a moment they ARE, in fact, anti-gay.  They may be - I do not know.  HOWEVER, we have to flip the coin to see the other side - gay and lesbian rights groups are upset because this group pushes an anti-gay stance....but wait, THEY'RE allowed to push a gay stance the same way?  Wait...I'm confused.  They are condemned for doing....the SAME THING you are doing?  What the.....help me, please.

I have heard that the groups to whom Chik-Fil-A donates are spewing vile, hateful messages.  I have to say, folks, that for the past few days I have heard more hate and vile spewed FROM the gay and lesbian community as they preach their own intolerance.  Again, let me restate - you will not see me being either pro- or against- either side.  I am merely stating observations.  They sell chicken sandwiches, believe they ought to be closed on Sundays, and are religious.  Why can we not accept that?  I hate to overstate the simplicity of this, but...If you don't agree, DON'T eat there!  You see, it isn't about what Dan Cathy said, nor is it about his restaurants.  One of my other observations is that, while certain groups are begging our understanding and our acceptance, they only want to do so with a fight.  There it is.  You have to admit, in the grand scheme of things, the gay and lesbian community has already gained far more acceptance than many wanted to give.  Compare this to 30 years ago.  Hey, compare it to 20 years ago.  Think you haven't made strides?  You have...but it isn't enough, is it?  Will it ever be? Let me ask the million dollar question - what is it you REALLY want?  You want the discussion, let's have it.  What would it take for the parades to stop?  What would it take for you to stop telling me (or us) we are inconsiderate of you?  Marriage?  We're getting there - do you really want me to give you the whole, "Rome wasn't built in a day," speech?  Oddly, the friends I have that are gay or lesbian never seem to be the people that are involved in these protests.  This, like the Pro-Choice/Abortion issue, only ever seems to attract the people that need to grandstand.  Yes, you folks really hurt Chik-Fil-A yesterday, huh?  They had record sales.  Today, however, when you staged your Kiss-A-Thon or whatever it was called, there were about two dozen people that showed up to kiss their significant other.  Know what Dan Cathy did?  Shook his head in disapproval...as he handed over another twenty sandwiches to the public.  Yesterday should have told you something and it goes back to my question - what do you really want?  If tolerance is the answer, then stop pushing your agenda on everyone.  Can you not see by yesterday's sales that there are still MANY people in this country that DO believe with Mr Cathy?  Listen, we are more than willing to be accepting...if you'll agree to stop making everything a fight.  You think you have to, however you might try actually having a conversation first.  Honestly.  Give it a try...then we'll talk.  For now, though, heed the opposite of Nike's words - JUST DON'T DO IT! (eat there, I mean).

While we're at it, I don't want to hammer the gay/lesbian coalition solely.  Next up?  Bob Costas.  Yes, Costas worked his media magic last night when sweet little Gabby won her gold medal.  Costas had to note that Gabby was the first black to win this medal.  As I've said before, I cannot be politically-correct so I will still say 'black' which, as far as I can tell, my black friends that did NOT come from Africa are okay with.  Costas also noted that, "Tomorrow, there will be young African-American girls all over this country wanting to take gymnastics now because they know they, too, can win the gold."  Bob, you're an idiot.  Personally, after three consecutive gold medals for the young women of our gymanstics team in the All-Around portion, I'd say there are scads of young women - white, black, yellow, purple, green - ALL knowing they can do it.  This is not about black or white.  This is about Red, White, and Blue.  I sat on my couch watching a young woman my daughter's age, having left her mother and move half way across country to be with strangers....JUST so she could be the best in representing her country.  As a matter of fact, you could take the entire "Fab Five" and paint them any color you want - I'd still be amazingly proud of the way they represented us.  Let's start with Jordyn Weiber - she got left out of the finals even though she placed in fourth in the preliminaries.  She is the reigning World Champion but the two-finalists-per-country rule (which needs to be changed, by the way) kept her out. Instead, we had a 4-way run at the title while others placing far lower competed.  is THAT the Olympic Spirit?  Jordyn, though, after a few moments of sadness, rose to the occasion and cheered her team on.  Rules, after all, are rules and she abided by them.  When Aly Raisman tied for third and was placed in a tie-breaking fourth position (another NEW rule from earlier this year) she accepted it...and said she was okay with being 4th in the world.  I've seen our swimmers congratulate those whom they've beaten and others do the same.  This is absolutely not a black and white issue, Bob.  This is an American issue.  Sadly, race relations will NEVER get better as long as we have the media continuing their sensationalizing of each and every moment...just for the sake of ratings.

I know this has been somewhat rambling, though I hope it is coherent.  I've jumped around but these issues ALL matter today and I wanted to touch on all of them.  The 'jumping' is what happens when there are too many thoughts...and my fingers cannot type quickly enough.  Please, folks, seriously...can we not treat each other with a little bit more care?  Can we not truly be more understanding and accepting?  I know we have differences - we always will.  Either we learn to accept our differences and get along or it's going to continue to be a bumpy, hateful, unkind road.  I know which I'd prefer...and which would be best for us all.  Let's try, if even for a little while, what do you say?

Until next time..............

Saddened and Ashamed

I always thought of becoming a lawyer.  No, really.  I thought it would be a pretty cool gig...until I heard the jokes (and had first-hand knowledge of some lawyers).  You know, the ones we've all heard - "What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?  A great start."  Sad...but oh, so true.  Still, I thought it more of the process that was a calling, and having to actually debate.  That's it - the debate.  That is what I enjoy.  With that, I cannot imagine how easy it would be to debate some on the issues of the day.  Are these issues what have me "saddened and ashamed"?  To a degree, yes.  The thing is, I am more frustrated than anything, I believe.  Frustrated in the fact that people - everyday people with actual brains and minds and thoughts - are so easily swayed by the media.  I now realize, as well as have firsthand knowledge, of the fact that we are easily duped by the media in print, on the radio, and on television.  Yes...firsthand knowledge.  The 'sharing' is coming up - give me a few seconds to set this up...because I am ashamed and embarrassed about us as a society right now.  **WARNING: IF YOU DO NOT HAVE AN OPEN MIND AND CANNOT READ FURTHER KNOWING I HAVE DONE MY RESEARCH, CLOSE THE PAGE NOW.  PLEASE.**

I hate and abhor child molestation and abuse.  Period.  Vile and disgusting and a theft that can never be repaid.  As a parent, I can state publicly that I used to live next door to a state trooper.  When my daughter was but two or three years old, he and I were sitting in my garage looking out to the street where the kids were playing.  He was telling me of some of the more horrific crimes he had investigated, including one with child molestation.  At that point, I politely informed him that, should anything even close to that ever happen to my daughter, he was to come to me first and make sure I was restrained.  Then, he was to go into my home and remove all weapons and ammunition.  Then...and ONLY then...could he tell me what happened.  I would, without question, be like Samuel L Jackson in, "A Time To Kill," where he avenged his daughter.  So w're on the same page, right?  You get it and understand?  Current events - Jerry Sandusky should rot in hell.  Period.

I have purposely not spoken out on this for a few months as we watched how it all played out, AND I wanted to let Louis Freeh do his job as an Independent Investigator into what happened at Penn State.  So everyone knows - I am from Pennsylvania originally, however I was NEVER a Penn State fan.  I went to Temple University and prayed for them to, at least once in my lifetime, beat PSU in football.  I then moved to Virginia and had a son that went to VA Tech.  My friends and former roommates went to Tech, too.  I pulled for them, BUT....I have ALWAYS been a fan of the Crimson Tide.  Since a kid growing up in PA, I respected Bear Bryant and the team in Tuscaloosa.  I respected Joe Paterno...BUT was not a disciple.  I respected him for what he meant to the game.  Hell, who wouldn't respect someone that did what he did for the kids that went to school there? A-HA!  There you are saying things that I have been reading and hearing this week - "He was a pedophile-enabler," or "He covered up child abuse - Louis Freeh said so and I heard it on TV!!"  There is the problem.  How many of you actually read Freeh's report?  Yes, I have.  All of it.  All 267 pages of it.  Was I bored?  No.  Was I curious? No.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing because, as I had grown up with this name being part of the school all my life, I found it hard to believe AND I was hearing conflicting reports from those that HAD read the report.

What was reported on television by Louis Freeh and others was his summary.  It should be noted, too, that the ONLY key witness he spoke to was Graham Spanier.  In his summary, he stated that, "It would be a reasonable conclusion," to assume certain things.  Call me fickle, crazy, or just a non-believer, but I STILL believe in Due Process.  That we are, fundamentally, innocent until proven guilty.  Again, let me reiterate - Child Abuse and Molestation is WRONG and SHOULD NEVER BE TOLERATED.  With that said, though, who among us (show of hands, please) would like to be accused of something like this (Oh, yes...it CAN and HAS happened) without your day in court?  Now, having said that, too - Jerry Sandusky was found guilty.  Due process at it's finest.  Schultz and Curley are yet to go to court, however they are charged with perjury.  Graham Spanier was forced out.  In ALL of the Freeh Report, I found mention of Joe Paterno having been told of an act of abuse and he reported it.  Yes, to the Campus Police...who, by the way, are a recognized police force in the Commonwealth with all rights and responsibilities of any other municipal police force.  He reported it...and Curley, Schultz, and Spanier did nothing to either inform the Board of Trustees, nor go to the Dept of Public Welfare.

I've heard a lot about the situation that started in 1998.  Here are the facts - this instance WAS investigated by the police.  There was also a psychologist involved that concluded that there was no sexual abuse at that point.  Then, in 2001, there were actually detectives in a woman's home AFTER her son had showered with Sandusky at the school that overheard him ADMIT to this.  Still, no charges were filed.  The current Governor, Tom Corbett, Attorney General of PA at the time, did NOT seek an indictment.  Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?  Now, Louis Freeh states in the report that, Schultz, Curley, Spanier, and Paterno were aware of the alleged instances of molestation, yet did nothing to protect the children from further acts?  I want to know where the police, investigators, Attorney General, and others were when THEY WERE AWARE of these acts yet still DID NOTHING.

I think what happened on this campus is a tragedy and a travesty.  There are many that need to pay, however lets make sure we get the right people AND punish everyone that had knowledge of, yet did nothing.  For everything I've heard about Joe Paterno having (by his own admission) not done enough, there are far too many that did NOTHING.  Graham Spanier, most notably, should be locked away.  Schultz and Curley should join him.  Paterno is dead.  If you read the report, you might have a difficult time wondering how the NCAA could exact the punishments they did.  You might truly have to ask, "Wait a minute - was this really a 'Paterno-initiated' issue?"  It was not - read the report.  You've let the media tell you what it says...and they only have 3 minutes of a 30 minute broadcast each evening.

Here's my final point, and one I am struggling with a lot.  I have heard many people screaming on the radio about how, "it's about the kids.  We need to stand up for the kids.  What Joe Paterno did is horrible and we need to protect the kids."  Joe Paterno did not rape little boys and, as far as I can tell, he and Mike McQueary are the only people that told anyone voluntarily.  I am struggling to figure out, though, how taking down a statue, removing his wins from a record book, or penalizing today's players is helping the victims heal.  If you're going to take $60 Million and give it to the families, I'd say it's a start...but I am guessing there is nothing anyone will ever do that will truly heal them of what happened at the hands of this vile scum.  Should something be done?  ABSOLUTELY - to the people that truly helped cover and conceal things.  The three I mentioned, the Board of Trustees, and the Governor of PA.  THESE are the people that let him continue doing these things.  To the fans and alumni of Penn State, I can answer your question, too - "Why Joe Paterno?"  Because.  Because he was the face of the school forever.  He ran a good program that was violation-free.  To indict the players - ANY of them - that played for him is unjust and unfair.  They did not do this.  As a matter of fact, the "Grand Experiment," as they say, is over.  Yet, just two days ago a report was released documenting NCAA football programs and their graduation rates.  I was proud of Alabama at #5...yet it paled in comparison to Penn State standing, still proudly because it is a statement about their players, at #1 with the highest rates in the country.

I'm sad and ashamed that we allow people to be knocked down because we are eager to see them fall.  Amazing that, in this day and age, we still cannot stand to see someone doing the right thing.  We just KNOW there has to be a scandal there.  Think what you want and take from this what you will.  I did not write in support of Penn State and I would gladly string up anyone harming a child in ANY way.    There is no way, after reading this report, that I believe the corrective actions of the NCAA were properly placed.  There are criminal charges to be filed.  While we all KNOW college football is big on these campuses, let's not make a statement just for the sake of saying college football has too much power.  Let's convict the criminals.  If we, as citizens, want to make this our Saturday calling and give the money we do, so be it.  That's a statement about us, not the school, and we're empowering these programs.  It's the same reason athletes are making 30 gazillion dollars after college - WE allow it.  WE go see them play.  I just think fair is fair and right is right.  It's the way I was raised.  Let's make our 'informed decisions' based on ALL the facts...not conjecture from talking heads on TV.  I was also taught to think for myself and get all the facts before reacting.  We need to do more of that.

Until next time..............

The Failure of A School District and Their Administration

The title of this post says it all.  I am, without a doubt, both shocked and embarassed by the school district I attended while growing up.  Their most recent actions have an entire community (from what I can tell, anyway) feeling the same way.  I suppose I should give a little background that will help explain why the feelings are so pervasive, then delve into what the school district has done.  When I was in elementary school, as with most of us, the educators asked who wanted to play an instrument.  Did you want to be in the band or did you have an interest in string instruments?  Even at the age of 9, I knew I was too cool to be one of 'those kids'.  Play an instrument?  Stay inside and practice while my friends were outside playing?  Nope.  Wasn't going to be me.  My parents found out long after the program had begun that I had decided, on my own, that I wasn't interested.  Not a pleasant night at home.  Then, as luck would have it, the band director recognized the future need of trumpet players in the high school program.  We were only in sixth grade, but the 'feeder' program was well utilized, and the music educators in the district communicated regularly.  It must be noted, too, that we lived in a small town of about 40,000 people that had three high schools.  The class sizes in the schools were small and the total enrollment when I graduated, encompassing grades 9-12, was right around 800 students.  This will play a part later in the post.  So, back to the story - I was in sixth grade and we had a chance to join the band program.  I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice so I signed up.  Fast.  There you have it, folks - I was a 'band geek' that played trumpet.  Yeah, I know....deal with it.

When we finally got to high school, the band director had spent years building the program and had begun competing at various marching competitions around the state.  Our freshman year, we were told there was a goal at the end of the season - we were going to head to the State Championships in Philadelphia held at Veteran's Stadium.  The year was 1975 (an eternity ago) and it was late August when we went started band camp.  No, nothing like the American Pie movies.  This was serious stuff...kinda.  We spent the last two weeks of August at the practice field by our high school, starting at 8:00 in the morning until late in the afternoon.  We eventually had the music memorized, the show on the field, and then continued to run through section after section perfecting it.  We continued to practice during the week, every Wednesday evening, as well as the hours spent after school.  By the end of the season, we were ready and headed to Philadelphia.  This little band walked onto the astroturf at Veteran's Stadium on a cold November afternoon...and proceeded to win the state championship in the Independence Division.  No big deal for many, yet one of the awards was the opportunity to march in the July 4th parade in Philadelphia, our nation's birthplace, on the country's 200th birthday.  In retrospect....it was a very big deal.

Fast forward three more years.  Not only was I in the band at that point, but some of my close friends had gotten me to join the Hanover Lancers, the oldest drum & bugle corps in the country.  More practice, more competitions, more fun.  A LOT more fun.  I had joined the orchestra as a trumpet player, too, and my closest friends shared these passions.  There, I said it.  Music mattered to us.  So here we were, three years later, and we'd spent the previous two years growing the program and rising to a different level as we had moved up a division and were now competing against larger schools.  We'd finished respectably those years while a sophomore and junior, but there were no other championships.  When I was a senior, I was joined in the band and orchestra by my sister.....who, it turns out, is a show off, too.  While I struggled to be proficient at one or two instruments, she proceeded to play clarinet, oboe, piano, saxophone, harp (yes, harp) and anything else she could to show me up.  She was good at them all, too, damn it...but, I digress.  So our senior year, our band director and staff decided we ought to try another goal.  This time, though we would continue to head to Philadelphia for the state title, it was decided we would also take a trip west.  Midwest, actually.  The Marching Bands of America National Championships were being held in Whitewater, WI.  They'd be held in June, I believe, which meant we would have recently graduated but (as with all schools) were still considered eligible for that year's competition.  In addition to the Grand national Championships, it was decided we ought to get a feel for the competition along the way.  There happened to be a competitive 'tour', held the week before we headed to WI, in Iowa.  The Mid-Iowa Combine was held in several different towns, several evenings in a row, where the same bands (typically) would compete against each other.  Think of it as a warm-up for Wisconsin and a way to gauge your competition.  The typical day consisted of waking up, usually on a gym floor or classroom in our sleeping bags, heading to breakfast set up by the parents group, then off to practice.  We'd practice until noon, then have lunch.  at some point, we'd load the trucks and buses, head to the town where we'd be competing, rest a bit, then practice again before getting dressed, warming up, and taking the field.  An entire week.  We loved it and I can honestly say it was one of the best trips ever.  We got to know people from NY, NC, MS, VA, as well as many other states, though there were certain schools with whom we developed a friendly rivalry.  After heading to Wisconsin and the University of Whitewater campus, we took the field on a warm summer night....and proceeded to win the second place trophy in our division and 5th place overall.  The only school in our division that beat us, Sylva-Webster from NC, was crowned National Champion overall so, it can be argued (we do) that the only school that beat us was the National Champion.  Again, of a school of about 800 students, our band had about 140 members.  Quite a percentage of the entire enrollment, don't you agree?  All this because George Rutledge, Charlie Brodie, and Bob Shreffler kept pushing us to excel.

The years following graduation had fostered a love of marching band that afforded me the opportunity to work with several high school bands, including the school in Atlanta where our director had relocated to start a new program.  I had the opportunity (one that I missed, unfortunately) to march with Spirit of Atlanta, a Drum Corps International corps.  If you ever want to really understand what I am speaking of, go to YouTube and search DCI or drum corps.  Watch the Blue Devils or the Garfield Cadets.  Any of them actually.  Tell you what, try the link below.  I think you'll be impressed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a26SmdMnV30

So how does this tie in to the title of this post?  In the past several years, the enrollment in the music programs in my former school district have decreased greatly.  Now, as with many other districts around the country, there is a movement to eliminate the music program.  In Hanover, PA, the school district has decided to eliminate the band and orchestra from the elementary schools.  This was decided at a closed meeting with NO debate.  Students will not be able to begin until sixth grade now AND they must be deemed 'proficient' or 'advanced' on the PSSA's which, I imagine, are standards of learning tests.  The district, as I understand it, is trying to cut the orchestra program altogether.  This is where I have a HUGE problem and take issue with the administration.  I am not an educator...but I read and consider myself educated.  There are multiple studies showing a direct correlation between a student's aptitude and abilities and their involvement in the arts, notably music programs.  As someone who did not want to join the band, I can honestly say that I believe these actions to be a major error.  We have students today that are proficient at typing...on their cellphone.  I believe it is the responsibility of the district and the educators to foster the same love for music in today's students as was instilled in us, if not a greater love.  We are seeing lowered test scores every year, yet we are trying to cut programs that would enrich the lives of our youth.  We, as adults, ask almost daily what is happening to our kids today, yet we allow school districts to make ridiculous decisions.  Ironically, there never seems to be a shortage of funding for athletics (this coming from a very big college football fan), and we are continually noting the issues with sports.  Let me ask - when was the last time a tuba player suffered a concussion while playing?  Who was the last violinist to be accused of taking steroids?  When did one of them lie to Congress about what they were doing in the Orchestra pit?  You get my point....right?  I have to say, I am sorely disappointed in the school district (any district that goes down this path), and wonder what might have happened if they had considered this move in 1979.  How long it might have taken to run them out of office had they decided  our program needed cut.  It never would have happened because the parents wouldn't allow it, nor the students.  This needs to be reconsidered and changed.  Students need the arts and we, as responsible adults, should be finding a way to provide access for all.  

Until next time.................

What Do We Expect of Our Kids? In Support of Jessica Barba

If you do not know this young lady's name, you should.  Jessica Barba is a 15-year old freshman at Longwood High School in Middle Island, NY.  Jessica tried, albeit somewhat in vain, to make a difference.  Jessica followed the rules, thought outside the box, and participated in a class project in which the students were told to create a project about an important issue.  Jessica chose to do her project on, and raise awareness of, an issue that has been in the news a lot recently - bullying.  Before I delve into what, exactly, Jessica did for her project, I will be the first to admit that, upon hearing the initial reports and increased coverage of this issue, I was one that said, "Really?  This has been going on forever.  We've all been, at one point in time, exposed to bullying.  We've all either been a part of a group that has seen it, contributed to it, or (worse) been the victim of it.  Get over it - it happens all the time."  I will also be the first to admit (write it down!) I was horribly wrong.  The bullying we experienced as kids was far different than what kids experience now.  Kids, for some reason, seem to be more cruel and hateful in their bullying now.  What were seen as 'harmless pranks and comments' then are far more extreme now.  More importantly, the way these things are dealt with now are nore extreme.  Victims of bullying in years past might have gone home and cried.  They might have had to get a parent to calm them down and reassure them that it would be okay.  Today, kids are far more likely to do something drastic.  It seems, at least, that they are far more likely to exact revenge or, sadly, take their own lives.  The stories in the news are filled with these after-effects.  It is sad but horribly true.  This is an issue facing our teens and we, as parents, are struggling with how to address and cope with it for the safety of our children.  It is also a time when we often bemoan the fact that, "this younger generation never puts forth any effort and only makes the problems worse.  None of them are leaders enough to take a stand."  Enter 15-year old Jessica.

Again, thinking 'outside the box', Jessica created a fake Facebook page and made a six minute video about the fictional Hailey Bennet (played by Jessica) who lost her mother when she was three years old, was abused by her father, and was then left alone when her best friend moved away.  She gets bullied at school, is made fun of on the fake Facebook page, and eventually ends her life.  Keep in mind that both the video AND facebook page had disclaimers stating that Hailey was a fictional character.  What happened next is what caused the problem.  A concerned parent saw the page and, apparently, did not view it thoroughly enough.  The parent called the police, who then contacted the school.  On the FB page, Jessica (as Hailey) had posted updates stating that she wanted to be dead.  When called to the principal's office, Jessica was confronted with printouts from the FB page that did NOT include her disclaimer.  Though she tried to plead her case to administrators, the person that printed these pages did not scroll down far enough to include the disclaimer.  Her mother later brought the same printouts that clearly showed it, however school officials did not seem to care.  Here comes the really incredible part....

Jessica faced a suspension hearing at school today.  As I write this, I do not know the outcome, however I know what it should be.  The administrators stated that her video was, "unfortunate in that it created a substantial disruption in the school."  Good!  It should have!  We preach and harp and put the issue on television and tell the kids it is wrong.  Now, when one student does something that raises the awareness to an incredible level, we punish her for doing something to bring it to everyone's attention??  How hypocritical can we, as adults, be??  If this had been my child, I would be as incredibly proud of her as her parents are now.  I have watched and listened to my own daughter as she tells me how people would pick on a girl that is overweight or a young boy in a wheelchair.  When asked what she did (and later witnessed her behavior), she told me that she and some of her friends admonished the other kids for their behavior, then spent time with the victims of the bullying.  I have seen her sit with them at lunch when others would not, or spend time with them at school events when others turned away laughing.  Through all of it, she and her friends did what was right...and I told them all how proud I was for doing it, later admitting that I, being in the same position at their age, wasn't sure how I would have acted.  I may not have been the one saying things or laughing, yet I don't know if I would have so publicly displayed disdain for the actions of others.  Had my daughter made this same video that Jessica made, I would not only be fighting with the school but I would also be showing the video everywhere I could.  This girl deserves to be applauded not disciplined.  They should use her as a shining example of how to lead others and how to treat others. 

This is a time when our youth should, indeed, be shown that one person can make a huge difference, and Jessica can teach both children and adults alike.  We ask them to do the right thing, try to show them what the 'right things' are, then hope they follow through.  We, as a society, are aching for personalities like Jessica to shine and become examples for the world...and we're going to punish that?  We're going to stifle not only their creativity, but their desire to do the right thing?  If parents are going to feel compelled to monitor things like Facebook and report to the authorities, then we best be open-minded and see the "Big Picture."  Not only was Jessica's creativity silenced and punished, but they aslo (as noted by the NY Civil Liberties Union) took away her free speech.  America, it is time to praise this young woman and all others who not only think as she did, but ACTED.  We cannot continue to think for them - we have to let them soar on their own...and any young woman (or man) that thinks and acts as this girl did should be the example by which all others are measured.  Keep her in school...and have her teach everyone else...including some parents.  This is just my opinion, but this is the person that has the, "better hands," to which we will leave the world when we're gone.  I will feel perfectly content knowing people like Jessica will be in charge in the years to come.

Until next time..................

The 'System' Is More Than Broken

Too often, we complain about the system being broken, understand there are changes that need to be made, yet struggle with how best to do that.  Anyone with common sense should be able to look at certain situations and know they need to be rectified, yet there continues to be inaction for lack of knowing what to do.  This story is one of those illustrations.  Earlier today I was treated to some incredible reading material from a friend.  The title of the story was, "Man Who fathered 30 Kids Needs a Break - On Child Support."  Oh, yeah, I dare you to read that headline and not dive head-first into the story.  I began reading...and was shocked, appalled, angered, frustrated....all these things...in no time.  Here is the story:

Desmond Hatchett, 33, of Knoxville, TN has fathered 30 children.  He's had 4 kids in one year - twice!  In 2009, after reaching a total of 21 children, he said he would not have any more.  I suppose we know how THAT turned out.  Since then, he's had nine more kids - 3 per year.  Some of the mothers took him to court as they said they were not receiving child support.  Of the mothers that DO receive support, some get as little as $1.49/month.  Yes...per MONTH.  This guy works a minimum-wage job and the state takes more than half his paycheck.  He began having kids when he was 18.  There's the story.  Period.  Oh, and the final statement in the article read that, "The state cannot do anything because he hasn't done anything illegal."  Nice.

Okay....time for MY rant.  I remember years ago, living and working in Philadelphia, when a pregnant woman came into the office with her three children.  She was out of work, collecting welfare and food stamps and I, being a bit forward, asked if she thought it was going to be difficult adding another child to the mix?  Wouldn't it be harder with 4 than three?  Her response has stayed with me for these past 25 years - "I get more money if I have more kids."  There it is.  The answer to, "Is the system really broken?"  Yes, it is.  I cannot believe it is ignorance, yet to have someone think they are getting more money if they have more children and not factor in the cost of raising that child, is beyond comprehension.  Yes, ma'am, I understand they give you another $240/month for that child (#4), but you realize it will cost you a total of $500.00/month to raise them as an infant, right?  (Yeah, I used a round number to illustrate my point - work with me!)  I'm sorry - math wasn't your strong suit?  Let me help, lady - they give you $240 and it costs $500.  You're in the hole $260 for every kid, every month.  So, in essence, you are actually LOSING money.  Capiche?  Of course, given the fact that you will let the child wear diapers for three days, only feed them every other day, and have no running water will allow you to cut costs.  Then, you'll have enough for when Desmond comes around again.  You'll be able to afford the crack or the smoke so you can get high and....**POOF**....another kid on its way.  Cynical?  Damn right, I am.  Oh, and are you ready for the 'Big Reveal"?  Wondering what he looks like?  Want to know if this is a TN southern redneck?  Here he is:

Here's the problem, my friends - WE are paying for this!  You're hearing this from a man that has not EVER missed a child support payment, nor do I have time for deadbeat dads.  Sorry, it's just the way I feel.  It's your child.  If you could be there for the fun part (whatever length of time that might have been), you'd better be there for the next 18 years.  It's the 'Yin' to the 'Yang' of those few fun moments.  For this irresponsibility to be allowed in our society today is utterly ridiculous.  If the government wants to know why we are ready to rebel, simply read this story.  I have no doubt these people are abusing the system - do any of you?  This HAS TO bother you!  I want my tax dollars going to the couple that, without warning and through no fault of their own, lost their job.  I want it to go to their kids so they can eat and be fed.  I want them to be able to sustain themselves until they can return to the workforce.  Do you want to know the best part of this group of folks, though?  They try to shy away from any help from the government.  I have a lifelong friend that was in such a position.  He did everything he could to continue to raise his children and NOT use the system.  He succeeded...and is now back in the workforce without ever having placed ANY burden on his fellow citizens.  Listen, I know it happens.  Like I said, it's always been a, "There but for the grace of God," kind of thing in my eyes.  I want to help those that are willing to help themselves when they are in need.  THIS, however, is NOT one of those times.

So the question is, how do we go about fixing it?  Court-ordered sterilization?  Mandatory birth-control?  I think we all know that will not happen for either solution.  Change the laws and put them in jail?  That system is already overcrowded because we, as a country, are too busy trying to fight a war on drugs we cannot win so we put stoners in jail.  By 'stoners' I am speaking of marijuana users.  Seriously, they are too tired to hurt anyone - why not leave them under house arrest?  Wow...I digress, eh?  I firmly believe we must consider, in cases like this, the sterilization option.  Yes, we could limit the funds we provide, but what of the earlier couple?  You KNOW it will then come down to a race issue....right?  I don't know what the solution is, but I cannot believe this is the only case like this in the US...and sadly, most of it IS a racial situation.  That brings me to one last 'off topic' portion of the rant - Star Jones.  Yesterday, on the Today Show, a few of the professionals they interview were asked about Mark Zuckerberg wearing a 'hoodie' to meet with investors on Wall Street.  While Donnie Deutsch and Nancy Snyderman both remarked that, like Steve Jobs and his turtleneck, this was Zuckerberg's "brand" and image, Star could not resist.  She thought it was interesting that only a few weeks ago Trayvon Martin, while wearing a 'hoodie', was gunned down and that it's because it was racially-motivated.  The hoodie, not the shooting.  Seriously, folks...if you want equality, stop playing the race card.  We have given everything we can, some more willingly than others, but to use 'race' for every issue is beyond belief.  Stop it...and go make sure Desmond Hatchett stops procreating, please.  Your fellow citizens, both black and white, will thank you.

Until next time...........

Any Woman Can Be A Mother....But It's Special To Be 'Mom'

It seems to me I wrote about the same thing last year at this time...I think.  Ironically, while I still have the opportunity, I hope to continue writing it every year.  It's always this day, Mother's Day, that I think about that age-old question we asked when we were younger (and have all heard through the years) - "If there's a Mother's Day and a Father's Day....why isn't there a 'Kid's Day'?"  I heard it again just the other day and can now, being a parent, grasp the full enormity of the response - "Every day is Kid's Day."  When I last heard this response, I realized that, while growing up, every day was kid's day and it was made possible by our parents.  In most cases, it was made possible by Mom.  Let's face it, in most familial settings, it is mom that does the laundry, cooks for us and (if I have to admit it) was the parent of choice when asking permission to do things we thought were, shall we say, questionable.  The decision could have gone either way and we, as short, manipulative little salespeople called 'kids', knew who would be the easiest to whom we could sell our plans.  Yep - we always went to mom first....unless, of course, the old man was lying half asleep on the couch and paying little attention.  Then we'd ask his permission knowing that, at some point, we'd eventually have to reply with, "I DID ask you and you said 'yes' when you were reading in the living room!"  We'd get away with it, but this was a tactic that could only be employed on rare occasions.

Yes, Mom was our 'Go-to' person and now that I am a parent, I totally and completely understand the relationship.  That is why I am writing this for her.  It's a letter of gratitude, appreciation, and love.  I understand that I am one of those quite fortunate to still have my mother in my life.  Many friends are not so fortunate and some, I am quite honored to say, have been able to 'share' my mom.  It's who she is and what she does.  Growing up, she was one of those that my friends called 'Mom' when they came to the house or spent time with us.  While still a teenager, I will be the first to admit there were times when I didn't want to admit I even HAD parents.  It's normal, I think, but I realized my friends were good with it. My mother was the one person that, without question, has been the constant in my life.  She was the one that made sure we were taken care of when we were sick, were fed when we were hungry, were clothed and had a home.  She worked hard to make certain we wanted for nothing.  That's not to say we got everything or were spoiled - we weren't.  We did, however, always have the basics...and then some.

There have been times in my life (more than a few) when I have needed counsel and there is no one's opinion I value more.  She is a brilliant thinker and has that innate ability to play 'devil's advocate, always countering with a good argument and allowing us to see an issue or problem from as many sides as possible.  She taught us to think for ourselves and challenged us to always do better than we thought we could.  I must admit, at this point, it was I, rather than my sister, that was the biggest challenge.  My sister is an extraordinarily good doctor who always knew what she wanted.  I was the one that was sent to help my mother grow in her wisdom and patience.  Hey, it's an 'iffy' job, but someone had to do it.  I was, without question, her biggest problem because I was...adventurous?  Daring?  A pain in th.....you get the idea.

There are so many things I am grateful for that I cannot mention them all - they'd fill a book.  I know there are many of us, ladies, that feel the same way about you as mothers.  You might be friends, sisters, aunts, cousins.....but all of you, as mothers, are more appreciated than you know.  We appreciate the way you keep the household going when we are too tired or, quite honestly, lazy (Sorry, gents - I had to throw us under the bus a little.  The women were hoping for it and I'm playing to the audience).  We appreciate the meals you put on the table, the careers you have, and your thoughtfulness.  We are grateful for the love you show us even when (dare I say it) we don't deserve it.  We did not mean to make your lives, as mothers, challenging.  It's who we are, though, and you helped us grow through it all.  To my friends that are mothers, I'd like to say, "Happy Mother's Day," and hope it has been wonderful.  So with that, this simple note, I'd also like to say to my mother alone:

Dear Mom, 


I'll never be able to say 'thank you' enough.  I appreciate the person you've helped me become and the way you taught me to see the world.  I appreciate the determination you taught me so I would always stand for what I believe in, while at the same time teaching me compassion for others.  I love the fact that I am one of millions today that can say, honestly, that I have the best mom in the entire world...and I wouldn't trade her for anything.  You deserve everything good that life can offer and I appreciate everything you've done.  I love you more than you know.


Until next time...........