Sunday, July 3, 2011

An 'Updated' Conversation Regarding Independence Day

Seriously, don't you wonder what the conversation might have been like among the men that drafted the Declaration of Independence?  Wouldn't it have been nice to hear them debating the whole plot to break free of British rule and King George?  I imagine it would have been quite interesting to hear Jefferson and Adams, Lee, Washington, Franklin and others preparing to give us our 'Brave New World'.  It probably started over a pint of ale, I'm thinking....

JEFFERSON:  You know, John, I'm really getting tired of this damn war.  I think everyone is.  Your thoughts?

ADAMS:  Couldn't agree more, Tommy.  Pass the bread.  So...what are you thinking we ought do about this...frackas?

JEFFERSON:  I was thinking we need to tell ol' King What's-his-name to piss off.  Seriously, I can't take it anymore.  You should see the taxes he's levied on my new wine crops.  No way can I turn a profit this quarter.  It sucks, man.  We don't get any representation in Parliament, but this bonehead thinks he can charge us a tax?
ADAMS:  I'm with you, Tom.  Things haven't been the same since they passed the 'Coercive Act' two years ago.  Man that Tea Party really pissed him off, huh?  You got any more of those little crackers?

JEFFERSON:  Here...and top off my mug.  Where DID this ale come from?  Good stuff.  So anyway, I was thinking...we ought o formally DECLARE our independence from these douches.  Whaddya think?

ADAMS:  Ooh, formal.  I like it.  We probably ought to talk to the guys, though.  What time do they get in?

JEFFERSON:  Franklin will be here first.  Livingston and Sherman are coming in together.  I hope they're bringing their cash, too.  Franklin cleaned me out at our last game.  Tonight's my night.

A few hours later, the 'Committee of Five' were in the same place, ready to debate and author the Declaration over a few beers and a poker game.

FRANKLIN:  Tom, get me an ale while you're up, would you?  So let me get this straight - you guys want to write something to tell King George, formally, that we think he's a being an idiot and there's no way we're putting up with any more of his crap.  That about it in a nutshell?

ADAMS:  Precisely.  You want to raise or call?  It's been raised to fifteen to you.

FRANKLIN:  Check.  So what do we really want to say to him?

LIVINGSTON:  Hey, I'm not sure I'm good with words.  Maybe Tommy J ought to write this.  Call.

SHERMAN:  I feel the same.  TJ always had a way with words.  How do you think he got Martha?  Tom, get me an ale, too?

FRANKLIN: (to the others at the table, quietly) Hey, by the way...NO mention of Sally Hemmings.  Even though Martha died, it's still a touchy subject.

ADAMS:  So we agree - TJ, you're writing this bad boy.  We'll all offer any suggestions and help, but you're the poet of the group.  You're brilliant, man...simply brilliant.

JEFFERSON:  Alright, listen.....I'll do it on one condition.  You guys are taking credit for this, too.  Last thing I need is for King George to send one of his 'death squads'.  Since Witness protection won't be around for another hundred plus years, I got no where to go.  deal?

ADAMS:  Deal.  By the way, you're light in the pot.  Pass the pretzels, too.

JEFFERSON; (pondering, then...) I got it.....Life, Liberty, Pursuit of Happiness.  How does that sound? I can make this work.  I'll have to fit it in somewhere but it has a great ring to it, doesn't it?  Man, this could be big if we do it right.....

Anyway, I think it might have gone something like that.  I'm not certain, but it makes it a little more interesting to read, no?  Here's to hoping everyone has a great 4th of July.....and remembers what our Independence really meant.

Until next time.......

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