Saturday, August 6, 2011

Ah, Dallas - Thanks For The Memories.....I Think

First, I should apologize for not writing sooner.  I was....gathering info and material!  Yeah, that's it!  We'll say that's why I didn't write!  Actually, when you're in meetings from 6:00 a.m. until near 10:00 p,m., you find it difficult to do anything other than walk into your room, turn on the television, fall face first into pillows and sleep.  All this because the breakfast bell rings tomorrow at 6:00 again.  It's over now, though, and we can proclaim everything a success!  We made it back from Dallas in one piece.  Not that any of us doubted we would, but.....okay, maybe I did for a few moments during the outbound trip but it's all in the past.  It's officially over as we got to Birmingham earlier today.  I'd say, "Gee, you'll never guess how hot it was, " but I kind of ran that into the ground earlier in the week.  It was blazing.  I think, during our ride home last night, that I have it figured out now, though.  Dallas IS hell.  Now, before you go jumping me for that comment, let me get the explanation out there and see if you don't agree.  As with any of my explanations, though, you know it won't be anything simple and surely requires background information.  Where to start?  Well, when last we left our road-weary travelers, they had just arrived in Dallas, TX to the heatwave-temps around 108.  That would've been enough, however they turned UP the heat.  The following day was 110!  A new record!  I saw the news this morning that over 1500 locations set a new record this week.  Dallas did it twice in one week...and has had over 35 days with heat in excess of 100-degrees.  Follow that?  I'm still headed toward my explanation.

We decided that, as the heat was anything but forgiving and kind, we'd head out of town in the late afternoon/evening hours of Friday.  After all the proceedings had taken place, with the exception of the Sales Meeting finale pool party, the four of us headed to our rooms for our luggage, a quick wardrobe change, and then the bike retrieval.  All fancy ways of saying, "We ran to our rooms, changed, then got the bikes loaded."  We finally got moving out of town at about 8:00 p.m. last evening.  First, though, we had to make a quick stop at the Hampton Inn of earlier in the week.  Apparently, I either misplaced, lost, or had a leather pouch for the bike stolen and thought it might have been at the Inn.  The crew was gracious and stopped by so I could check.  At this point, it's important to note a motorcyclist's words to other bikers as they depart for a journey.  Much like actor's say, "Break a leg," to wish them luck, a biker will offer a simple, "Keep the rubber side down," to imply a safe journey.  Literally, too, it means 'don't take a spill or drop your bike.'  For the record, stopping your bike sideways on a steep incline is a bad thing if you've got short legs.  Also for the record, there are semi-steep inclines in front of a hotel.  Yes...I'm setting this up to say that, in all fairness, I was trying to avoid Bill's bike when I stopped on said incline...and watched the bike go leaning left.  Then a little more left.  Then a little more.....down.  It's hard to stop 800 pounds when it decides it wants to go down, too.  Smart people simply let it go.  Smarter people get out of the damn way.  Consider me brilliant.  I jumped.  Fortunately, Kevin was there right away, followed by Bill.  The three of us got the thing standing as Jeff gave instructions.  Management - go figure.  I'm kidding...that was just an easy joke.  Seriously, part of the reason these guys are so great to ride with is the way everyone jumps to help the others.  The senses of humor help, too.  It's always a good time, even with weather conditions as they were.  I know, some of you are still waiting for the explanation of Dallas being hell on earth.  Patience, my friends, patience....

We got out of town, as I said, and the temperature was 107 when we 8:00.  We rode for a few hours and got gas and food.  Still 94 degrees - at 11:00 p.m.!  Finally, when we stopped in Monroe, LA for the evening (a few hours) at 2:00 a.m., it was down to 86 degrees.  Beautiful riding weather, however not easy to do with your eyes closed.  Best to stop, right?  In at 2:00, back up at 5:45.  Me?  How did I feel?  Oh, Mr Happy Camper?  Of course I was!  Really, it wasn't there's nothing to keep you going at that hour like the wind whipping past you at 80 mph.  One more gas stop until we got to Jackson, MS where Jeff and Kevin headed south and Bill and I continued our journey east toward Birmingham.  We stayed cool, actually, until about 11:00 this morning when the sun was high in the sky and the humidity took over again.  Fortunately, we were only an hour and a half from Birmingham.

I'm sorry, what?  Oh, yeah, the explanation.  Well, we were heading out of Dallas last night and we noticed all the drivers I speak of when I am in the car.  You know, the ones that gravitate to the left lane...then stay there going just as fast as the cars they were pretending to pass?  The same drivers that are, motorcycle-blind?  Yeah, well, I thought of these things, as well as everything else I have ever known of Dallas.  My sister went to school at the University of Dallas in Irving, TX, a suburb.  I saw signs for Las Colinas, and the bell tower they had on campus and it brought back memories of visiting her there once.  I was so hoping to call and share the memories with her.  Then the temps hit 100-degrees and I saw commercials on television for the Cowboys Cheerleaders.  That's when it hit me.  Though the cheerleaders are fine, the Cowboys aren't.  Let's see.....Cowboys here in Dallas, temps as high as hell, and then satan must be...Jerry Jones!

See?  That's the explanation!  Anyone of the owners, players, or fans of the NFL knows that Jerry Jones is the not the most appreciated owner in the league.  I'm sorry, but it was the ONLY conclusion I could come to that made sense.  Seriously, Jerry Jones?  You agree, don't you?  See?  You're nodding and smiling.  I knew it!  Well, it might not be the actual truth...but I hope it made you smile and you enjoyed the entry!

Until next time.............

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