What Have We Done?

I know that title sounds a bit hazy...but I cannot, for the life of me, figure it out.  When I ask, "What have we done?" I am referring to our kids.  When I say, "Our kids," I am referring to those in the age ranges of 25-35.  Probably younger ages, too.  I suppose a bit of elaboration is in order.  I mentioned that, this past weekend, I was lounging on the couch with a remote in my hand.  Nothing unusual there - hey, I'm a guy.  It's what we do.  I happened to pick up on a good friend's suggestion and, as the channel guide scrolled with the names of the shows, I saw the name, "Bridezillas," listed.  Based on the comments made about the show, I had to watch.  Sadly, I was not disappointed.  For those that have not yet seen this white-trash reality show, let me describe it this way - 'Train wreck' or 'multi-car accident'.  Seriously, you want to look away.  You try to avert your eyes.  Yet, try as you will, you can't seem to do it.  I think, after watching several episodes, I've figured it out.  There is NO WAY any of us could believe someone could act that badly.  These girls aren't any names with "-zilla" at the end of them.  They are flat-out, 100%, bad to the bone, hardcore bitches.  Spoiled rotten little bitches.  Their actions, coupled with the fact that the men marrying them are completely emasculated and idiots, are what begs the questions, "What have we done?"

Please tell me where people get the notion that they "deserve" anything.  Did I miss the memo?  You deserve it?  "I am going to get my way because I always get my way!  If I don't, there's going to be some serious problems!"  I have no idea how many times I heard that line.  "You're going to give me that," and, "You better damn sure have that for me," were lines I heard justified because...they deserve it.  I wanted to slap them.  I know many will think the show is staged, but there are some things that just cannot be scripted.  Let's be honest, we've seen the faces these spoiled little brats make, too.  Usually on kids that are about 4 or 5, yet we've seen the look.  I hate to say it, but we HAVE done it.  We, as parents, have turned these lovable little people into grown-up monsters that treat others with little or no regard.  It's appalling and pathetic.  Still don't believe me?  Drive through a high school parking lot.  Have you ever seen more BMW's, Mercedes, Lexus's, or Audis?  True story - a father here in Gardendale, AL just gave his 16-year old daughter a Hummer.  A HUMMER!!!  What the hell was he thinking?  Do we seriously think this kid will be anything but a bitch and a nightmare for any guy that tries to date her?  Want to know how divorce starts?  Hey, Daddy - how 'bout not setting the bar so high!  You are setting your children...and even their future families, up for failure!

I am writing frantically at this point.  I tend to hit the keys of the computer a little harder when I am this irritated.  I am this irritated, too, because I know how this gets started.  We don't want our kids not having what the others do.  Listen, I agree that, years ago, parents wanted their kids to have better than they had.  Trouble is, when they got to our generation (the generation about to have, or having, grandkids) there was nothing more we needed.  That was the trouble.  In the years of the Great Depression, those kids grew up wanting to give their kids more because, odds are, they might have had a five-pound bag of potatoes to feed their family for a week.  I know.  I heard my grandmother tell the stories.  Can you imagine?  Neither can I...nor our kids.  Seriously, though...I have told my mother more than once - we didn't 'want' for anything.  We had food, clothing, shelter, new bikes, board games, Hot Wheels, skateboards....all of it.  They didn't have to give us anything else.  Then, when we had kids, we began to screw up.  Case in point - I had a 13" black & white TV in my bedroom when I was a senior in high school.  It was the big gift for our Christmas that year.  I might have told this story already, but it bears repeating.  My daughter?  Yeah, she had a 15" color TV with a built-in VCR in her room...when she was FOUR!  Really?  Might I add that I can be, umm...frugal....at times.  It wasn't my idea.  I see what this is doing to our kids, though.  They play video games rather than skipping rocks on a lake.  They want to be in someones basement playing video games at roughly the same time of day that we were trying to sneak up to Dick's Dam, pull the car off the road into the grass, then run back to the bridge and jump off into the creek slowly floating underneath.  Oh, and "yes" to answer your question.  If all my friends were jumping off a bridge, I would, too.  Been there, done that.

We have got to stop giving our kids everything they want rather than spending time with them.  We have got to stop giving them what they want to keep up with their friends.  I truly believe they will thank the horrible parent that says "no" when they are older.  They will appreciate what we've done if we give them a few things...such as appreciation for what they DO have...and for others.  If we teach them that there is such a thing as "too much" and that going outside to play is a good thing.  If e teach them to respect others and their property.  If we teach them to love, to care, and to give.  We owe it to them.  Apparently, we best get started.  We have a lot of work to do.

Until next time............