Today, as I pondered what to write I remembered watching the Today Show this morning. Oddly, they are a great source of material lately. Whether you like them or not, they provide (me, at least) with a boat load of subject matter. Maybe the other morning shows are the same, I'm not sure. I can't bring myself to watch ABC here in Birmingham. The morning newscasts are, well, bland and boring. Same news, I suppose, not-so-great delivery. CBS owns the evening programming, but again they lack any 'hook' in the morning. Great...all of a sudden I'm doing a critique of the morning TV programs. NOT where I wanted this to go, but....let's say it's background material. Good - we're all on the same page. Where was I? Oh, yeah...morning news. God, sometimes I feel like I ought to be on Adderall. Oooh, shiny! Newscast - got it.....
So here was the story this morning - Woman in NC loses custody of her children because she has breast cancer. Yep - reread it. That's exactly what I said. Because she has breast cancer. Here's the background - she and her husband have two children, a daughter that is 11 and a son that is 5. Three years ago, the mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Shortly after, the couple split amidst allegations of affairs and abuse by both parties. The husband was unable to find work in NC so he moved to Chicago, about 600 miles away. He then filed for permanent custody of the children to have them live with him in Illinois. The judge's ruling? They should share custody but the children should live with their father because their mother's health is uncertain. This is called (first-hand knowledge) Joint Legal Custody with the father having Sole Physical Custody. The mother, who is unemployed and receiving treatments at Duke University, is supposed to travel to see the children every other weekend. There, my friends, is the background.
When I first heard a mother lost custody I was shocked. Seriously amazed. I know I will have people disagreeing with me and arguing these points, however I am telling you this is how it happens. The system is slanted toward mothers. Period. I realize that years ago, when divorce started to become more prevalent, the courts ruled in favor of mothers and their nurturing ways. This isn't then - this is NOW. Mothers, at that point, were not as likely to be in the workforce. Now, however, they are in the work force and are as likely as any man to have a job. Be honest - haven't we all heard of "Mr. Mom" situations recently? Fathers staying home to be the custodial parent while mom is out earning a living. We all know it happens. Therefore, shouldn't we be more likely to award custody to either the father OR both parents? Say it with me....c'mon, you know you want to.
I have personal knowledge of both Joint- and Sole-Custody situations. I blame the courts, the judges and the lawyers for stupid decisions. What the hell has happened that we stopped using common sense and began letting lawyers rewrite the way we ought to think? How did this happen? It's another prime example of the great joke that goes, "Kangaroo walks into a bar...." Wait, wrong joke. The one I am thinking of is, "What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?" "A great start." Lawyers and judges (who happen to be lawyers that have graduated to wearing robes) are changing the way we deal with everyday situations and taking common sense and disregarding it completely. Whatever happened to finding what is fair and just? Sadly, the courts don't care anymore. Think about it - a person spills a hot cup of coffee in their lap and gets a million dollars for it? Isn't that like saying, "Hey, you're clumsy. Wanna get rich?" We, my friends, need to take a stand. As a good friend said to me this evening, "Somebody took my country and I want it back!" I could not agree more...but someone tell me, how do you get around stupid situations such as this? Appeals? Yeah, they're more likely to get thrown out or denied rather than changing an opinion. This woman has Stage 4 breast cancer, too. Do we really think she'll be around for the decision on the second appeal? Who knows? No one knows, you are correct...which is why I have to ask again - why did she lose custody? I hate to say it, but me thinks there's a judge that needs to take a small plastic bottle to the ladies room. Perhaps a specimen is required. Yes, your Honor.....it stays in your system for at least three weeks...or so I've heard. Just sayin'.....
Listen, I don't know how we stop the insanity but someone has to point this out. We all have to make a stand and agree that these things cannot and will not be tolerated any longer. We want to make a difference in the world, right? Isn't the other saying we've all heard, "Be the change you want to see in the world."? Then we need to make sure the idiots that want to change it for the worse have to answer for it. They're screwing it up for our kids.....and, quite honestly, they should have the same opportunity we did - to screw it up all by themselves. I just wish we hadn't been so damn good at it.
Until next time.........
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